Saturday, 25 November 2017

Accidents really do see me coming

I may not get out much but I do seem to attract accidents rather too easily.
I hadn’t really thought about it until SWMBO commented, after my most recent mishap, that I am “accident prone”.
Initially I was upset and even a little disappointed. Me, accident prone? Never. But that got me thinking. Have I really had THAT many accidents over the years?
Sure, I did almost slice my thumb off whilst sharpening the carving knife with a steel (remember them?) one Christmas day.
And I really did poke my fingers into a light socket when an outdoor blub blew one balmy day. I was just trying to get the rest of the shattered bulb out. OK, maybe I should have turned the power off.
Then there was the panic at a family barbeque. Loads of hungry, expectant diners waiting for me to produce a feast of charred remains. Coals not ready? No problem, I thought. A quick squirt of some of that liquid lighter fuel onto the reddish charcoal should really do the trick. Ah, the smell of burnt hair. It took months for the heavily singed follicles to grow back on my arm.
What about the time I was putting something back into a very high built-in cupboard in the living room? It required the step ladder. Now I’m a professional so I checked the little yellow lock tabs to ensure the ladder was stable.
First box passed to me by SWMBO was safely deposited in the cupboard. I don’t fully remember what happened with the second box, other than I can report how painful it is to land on the wooden arm of an armchair from a fairly great height. Took the wind out of my sails, somewhat.
What was at the time the most painful mishap happened while I was cleaning my office at home. I’d hoovered (other brands of vacuum cleaner are available) the industrial carpet to within an inch of its life and, rather sensibly, I thought, I unplugged the beast while I continued with a little light dusting.
Unfortunately I left the lead and plug on the floor and while reaching up to dust the top of my framed 25 yard breaststroke certificate from Harlow swimming pool circa. 1965 my foot slipped out of my flip flop – and plunged down onto the three-pin plug.
Although now there were only two pins visible as the third was embedded into my heel. Fortunately my car knew the way to A&E.
Anyway, enough of historical events. What happened recently, you are wondering, to make SWMBO make the stinging “accident prone” comment?
Let’s just say a hefty club hammer and a sweaty hand do not good bedfellows make. But the good news is that the wound on my shin has healed nicely (thank you for asking).
And I wonder why I am now greeted by name at the local A&E. Got a season ticket, me.

Wednesday, 25 October 2017

Charities that try just a little too hard

I wrote last month that SWMBO took part in the Alzheimer’s Society Memory Walk in Norwich with her sister, her brother and his wife, raising more than £1,200 through generous donations from family and friends.
Like most other charities, the AS is undoubtedly a wonderful organisation – willing people putting others first and using the great British public to provide help and support to many, many people.
But some charities can drive me crazy sometimes.
Their actions can border on the pestering. They think the endless emails, letters and phone calls are simple, sensible methods of keeping their supporters active and, more importantly, giving.
Fundraisers use their time to raise valuable money for good causes. In the meantime too much of that money is, to my mind, being used on staffing, phone charges, postage, printing etc.
I don’t need a letter asking me to send a donation to the people affected by the latest man-made or natural disaster. And I certainly don’t want a phone call.
I can make up my own mind on what I want to support and where I want to send my money. Pity I can’t have a say on HOW it is spent.

Friday, 6 October 2017

Memory Walk raises cash for a great cause
SWMBO plus one of my BILs (brother-in-laws), two SILs (sister-in-laws) and a rescue greyhound completed the Alzheimer’s Society Memory Walk at the weekend, raising around £1,200 for the charity.
Yours truly and my other BIL provided essential supervisory and tactical support for the 7.5 kilometre walk.
This included seeing them off at the start, chatting over a few coffees, making sure the burgers on sale at the Norfolk Showground were up to scratch and taking Finish Line photos for posterity.
BIL, I should point out, is somewhat indisposed on the physical front at present with hip problems while I am just plain lazy.
A massive well done to the walkers and a big thank you to all the family members and friends who gave so generously.
A wonderful way to remember MIL.
To find out a bit more about the walk, please visit